Values in Relationships #7 (Communication)

Allison and I are always talking in our conversations on the radio and elsewhere about the importance of quality communication. Almost every time we discuss parenting issues and now relationship issues, we come down to a fundamental conclusion that communication is a major part of the equation.

And remember LISTENING is probably a greater part to communication than the speaking. Too often we jump in and do the talking or think about how we're going to respond when if we'd only sit down and listen we'd be far better off in the relationship and our understanding.

Another scenario from Allison to consider: You and your partner had a great deal of difficulty conceiving your first child, and when it finally happened, you were both ecstatic. Now several months into the pregnancy you are feeling anxious about the life change. Do you share your feelings?

Values in Relationships #6 (Accountability)

Allison put together a scenario that goes like this: Your partner has agreed to be home by 6 pm so you can go out to dinner with a friend. He is detained at work by a minor crisis and arrives home at 7:30 pm. Consequently, your dinner engagement was cancelled. What, if anything, do you say about it?

This all about accountability. When you say you are going to do something, you are accountable and need to follow through with it.

Yes minor and major crises come up and are unavoidable. But in an ongoing relationship, partners can live with this if they know that generally the person follows through on their commitments. I think Covey (here I go again)talks about emotional bank accounts. Within any relationhship there is an amount of trust built up and sometimes if there is a failure to follow through there is something in the emotional bank account which will cover the failed promise BUT if this is an ongoing issue that promises are not kept the bank account is drained and the trust has vanished.

As parents, we know that we cannot keep promising children things—outings, treats, etc.—and not follow through with them. Often a child will let us know that we cannot be trusted to follow up on the commitment whatever it is.

If you commit to something, then follow through. Being accountable is another of the values that strengthens a relationship.