Being connected

Recently I interviewed Dr. Michael Ungar, author of Too Safe For Their Own Good (which I discussed in previous blogs) and newly published We Generation: Raising Socially Responsible Kids. Both books have resonated with me for their intelligent view of parenting with some down to earth advice for parents and other adults dealing with children and youth.

In Too Safe For Their Own Good, he wrote about teens desiring to be seen as the 4 C's—Competent, Caring, Contributors to their Community. Teens are either seeking responsibility or taking risks. As parents and society we must recognise this tendency of our youth and work with them in providing safe opportunities for risk- or responibility- seeking behaviours.

For parents there are many messages from both his books, but within his new book, We Generation, he speaks to the importance of parents at all ages and stages of children and youth. To foster connected kids, we, as parents, need to adopt three roles: Show Compassion; Model Beneficence; and Invite Responsibility. We are mentors for our children and so our actions in these three areas are paramount.

Another important piece of advice for parents is to exhibit the 3 T's in our everyday life.

TIME - spend time with your children; focus on them when you are with them—don't be distracted.

TOUCH - Michael talks about touch as intentional communication and suggests that we are "offering a knee (to sit on), a hand to hold, a hug, a gesture of caring inb tune with what the child wants."

TALK - let them know what you think and feel but also listen to them with empathy not judgment.

I recommend that you look at either of these books for they have some great ideas for parenting.