Mommy Martyrdom

The other day I met a young mom. Her baby was only a week old. Cute as a button!

One of her comments, as everyone was oooohing and aaaahing, was that she wouldn't let the father change the diapers. Now I am not sure how the father feels about this but I viewed it as one of those first steps to "mommy martyrdom" which was (and is still?) prevalent in our society.

Moms need to let go. They need to share the burdens of parenthood if changing diapers is a burden. When there are other adults around to help—partners, parents, friends, etc.—let them help. Don't be a martyr because you'll regret it later in life.

Dads need to be involved with all aspects of a child's upbringing including changing diapers. I remember when my son was an infant and my wife went out in the evening, people often asked if I was babysitting. My reply was "No, I'm the father. Babysitters are who you hire."

Parenting is a shared commitment. To have it left only to the Moms is the first step towards resentment of the partner.

Don't let mommy martyrdom take hold. Share the trials and tribulations of parenthood. Everyone, especially the child, will benefit.