Our children's health

It's flu and cold season. The hacking coughs, runny noses, sniffles seem to be part of the landscape at home and at school. As a parent, what do we do for our child who is sick, miserable and definitely uncomfortable. We want to make them better and as fast as possible. In this age of seeking quick solutions to our everyday problems, there is always a quick remedy as close as the medicine cabinet or pharmacists shelf.

But wait, a U.S. Food and Drug Administration advisory panel recently called for a ban on all non-prescription pediatric medicines for coughs and colds. In a recent article in the Globe & Mail, columnist Andre Picard writes about the risks and dangers including death and adverse reactions in varying degrees of severity.

He goes on to say that Health Canada "strongly advises parents and caregivers to carefully read the labels and instructions for these products and to check the medicinal ingredients before giving them to any child, especially under the age of 2."

Picard's next word of advice is "Forget the wishy-washy bureaucratese." Get rid of these products both for children and adult—so you won't be tempted to give any of it to children—as they are virtually useless as remedies for coughs and colds.

In closing, Picard suggests the advises the following: "Symptom relief comes in many forms: A painkiller for fever, a humidifier for a stuffy nose, a cup of chicken soup for an empty belly, a favourite video for distraction, and a hug for reassurance."'

Good practical parenting does not always involve quick cures for whatever the problem may be.

Thinking and acting ethically

I had the opportunity to do an hour long radio interview with Barbara Coloroso—internationally recognized parent educator, speaker and author—which we will air on Island Parent Radio in January. (We'll publish the dates on the website and in Island Parent.)

Our whole discussion—based on her book "Just because it's not wrong doesn't make it right."—centred on teaching children how to think and act ethically.

Barbara talks about how the teaching our children to think and act in ethical ways is comprised of three parts. First is to provide them with ways and ideas to care deeply, share generously and help willingly. Secondly, we need to "curb their inclination to hoard and harm." And finally, stop hatred or ways that inspire hatred.

We spoke of the importance of parents in modelling behaviours and mentoring our children. We have to show them the way by demonstrating compassion and loving kindness. One thing that I found both in the book and within our discussion is the idea our worldview matters and it is what inspires our children to act ethically and to think ethically.

Babara spoke at length about rules and how they don't always teach us or inspire us to act or think ethically. This leads to a thought I'd like to leave you with quoted from page 101 of her book:

"Neither a rigid moral absolutism (Because I said so...) nor shifting moral relativism (As long as I don't get caught...) will teach our children how to care deeply, share generously, or help willingly. Neither do they provide the groundwork necessary to develop communities that will support, not destroy, that which nurtures children's innate ability to care."

40 Developmental Assets

I was attending a training session to be an In-School Mentor with Big Brothers Big Sisters and was reminded of the importance of the 40 Developmental Assets that have been a project of the Search Institute for many years. We have written about these assets in Island Parent and I learned about them at a workshop quite a few years ago.

What struck me last night was to have a list of the 40 assets presented to me and then to reflect if each one of the statements were true as an elementary school child. I venture to say that I might not recognise myself in all of the situations but certainly in most of them. When looking at my life and comparing it to other children both then and now, I was truly lucky or blessed.

One of the ideas discussed at the training was the importance of a relationship with a trusted adult—be they a parent, teacher, friend, neighbour, relative—over the period of time. From a study done of individuals who were from very impoverished backgrounds (emotionally and economically) and became very successful in their lives, it was found that there was a "mentor", an trusted adult who showed interest and care for the child.

One story that was told was of a group of children from a certain area over a period of years and who ended up true successes despite their deplorable circumstances. When researchers delved further into their lives they found that this group all had one common factor. That factor was a certain teacher. When contacted to tell her of the study and how well some of her students turned out, she was asked what she did. Her simple reply was "I loved them".

Relationships are so key in the development of our children. The developmental assets simply looks at the External and Internal Assets that give individuals a chance in life.