Values in Relationships #3 (cont.)

The third value that Allison and I talked about was the importance or in her words the preeminence of the adult relationship. This is to say that although our many other relationships—parent/child, friendships, work—are important, we must not lose sight of the fact that for a relationship to endure we must make sure that it is IMPORTANT.

An example that Allison gives is when your two year old has a predictable temper tantrum at the time the babysitter arrives. You feel guilty—what do you do?

It is important for you as a couple to get out for an evening or afternoon by yourselves. Children can manipulate us by throwing the tantrums and making us feel guilty. If you stay at home, it will not be a happy situation. You may resent the two year old.

If you value your relationship, set aside some quality time for each other. Unless your child is sick, let them know that this is important to you.

As an educator, often parents would be torn at leaving their young child at school because the son/daughter kicked up a fuss about the parent leaving. Most often once the parent had left the school grounds, the child settled down and enjoyed him/herself. The child will attempt to get the parent succumb to her/his wishes.

Remember for the adult relationship to develop, thrive and succeed, you must make the relationship a priority in your life. Yes there are times that the kid stuff will take over especially when they are young but a conscious effort must be made to ensure the endurance of the relationship.