A Father's Legacy

I was reading Robin Fast's column Dadspeak in the current issue of Island Parent. His introduction reminded me of the place I have been to many times in my life—i.e. yelling at my son.

Is this the legacy we as fathers wish to leave as a memory?

Robin, as I know him, is a thoughtful caring and gentle man. I know his son will remember him in this way as I hope my son and daughter will remember me. Robin provides a thoughtful reflection on his parenting and his father. It allows me to think of where I have been.

Looking back over life, I do see how supportive my father was although there were times when he got angry and might have even frightened me. But that is not how I remember him. He was not really demonstrative in his love and affection (probably a\part of his era) but I know he loved his children and spoke proudly of them.

The one piece of advice that I remember him saying to me in my late teens or early twenties was: Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Think about why they are doing or thinking something. This is not profound or even original but it is how he generally conducted his personal and business life.

What do we wish to leave as a legacy? It all comes back to the values that we cherish and live by. How we walk our talk.

Think of the many people in your life that have had a positive influence on you and what values they are displaying. They are not famous people but people who were there for you when you needed them. They could be family or friends or strangers you have read about but they have had some lasting affect on you. What you saw and gained from them was their values in action.