Influencing our Children's Self-Esteem (3)

Now let's consider the 3rd “A” which stands for Affirmation. This is really the opposite of rejection. When we are affirming our child or any other person for that matter, we are simply saying that we're happy that they exist. We haven't put any conditions on this.

As a parent of a new born, we happily cradle them in our arms and become very attached to them. You as a parent are naturally affirming your baby by this unconditional love. As the child grows older, this natural instinct may start to fade and you may fall into what you learned from your childhood—which may not have been truly loving.

Allison mentions that when a child is loved as she is, having her reality reflected back to her shows that her actions are seen as worthwhile and the true self begins to develop. Using reflection is a good way to show your true understanding of the child. Reflective statements such as “You seem to love painting pictures” or ”I notice you spend time in the sandbox playing with your dump truck.” These statements show that you are noticing the child and what they are doing. You are affirming their being.

Other areas that show this affirmation are when you take time to play with your children. Again you are showing interest in their “work” and participating with them at their level. Let your child lead the activity, it shows that you value their ideas and play.

(To hear more of this discussion tune into Island Parent Radio on Village 900 (AM) or www. village900.com on Sunday February 18th at 9 am (PST).)