Influencing our Children's Self-Esteem (1.)

Yesterday I was mentioning Allison's all-important four A's of self-esteem: attunement, acceptance, affirmation and affection. I'll further clarify these next time.

The first one is attunement. By this she means being in tune with your child. Being able to mirror his/her thoughts and really understanding the strengths and weaknesses. Often as parents, we are hoping the child will have similar interests. The hockey or football playing dad who wants his child to take up the sport. I remember hearing of a child whose father and some siblings were avid soccer players. He was quite athletic but more interested in individual pursuits such as tennis rather than team sports. As a parent, one needs to stand back and see where the child is coming from, her temperament and characteristics rather than imposing your interests or aspirations.

Attunement is about understanding the core of the individual. Reflecting with them on their strengths and yes their weaknesses. To truly have high self-esteem one needs to be comfortable in his own skin. Parents giving unconditional love assist with this development. Affirming the child's interests and abilities is truly a gift we can give our child.


(To hear more of this discussion tune into Island Parent Radio on Village 900 (AM) or www. village900.com on Sunday February 18th at 9 am (PST).)