Spying on your kids. Where is the trust?

I was just shown a CBS News Video, The Secret Lives of Teens, which depicts a very situation in which parents have gone to extraordinary lengths. It was very disturbing to me and my colleagues.

Parents of a sixteen year old girl had resorted to spying on their daughter in every conceivable way. Through current available technology, they are entering her life and tracking her every online thought and word. They have set up video surveillance that is reminiscent of CSI operations. And where will it all lead? I suspect that when the daughter finds out and she will find out any trust (and perhaps love) between them will be blown to smithereens.

Bringing up our children in this world does have its challenges. Some children and teens do test the limits of risk with their experimentation with sex, drugs, gangs, the Internet, etc. But how has this couple come to the place that they have resorted to the surveillance technology to invade their child's world. I would contend that they will not win the war here by violating all rules of boundaries but will enlarge the chasm between themselves and their daughter.

Instead of busting all boundaries by this treacherous display of mistrust and invasive behaviours on the parents' part, they should be embarking on engaging their daughter in conversations about risk and responsibility as outlined in Michael Unger's book, TOO SAFE FOR THEIR OWN GOOD (published by McLelland & Stewart), which I spoke about in my blog Risky Behaviours on April 1st of this year and continued in my blog on April 2nd.

I'd love to hear what you think about the video.