Family Boundaries - Controlling Parents

On our recent radio show Allison and I discussed two parental "boundary busters"—issues of over-control and intrusiveness.

The first of these "boundary busters" is really about the parent who continually nags and coerces his child. You know the type. From morning wake up to bedtime, he is constantly on about getting dressed, eating, doing homework, etc. etc. etc.

In our discussion, we talked about the legacy we are leaving our children if we are guilty of this continual "nagging". What is the lesson that our children learn from this parental behaviour? Well, as Allison says, the child will learn to be a procrastinator and not take on or learn responsibilty.

Part of our role as a parent is to teach our child about responsibility and becoming more self-reliant. How do we stop this behaviour?

If you recognise yourself as the "nagger", that is the first step to changing your behaviour for the good of your child. From there you need to check your nagging at the door. Revert to a short one word reminder if necessary and allow for some natural consequences to take place. We learn by experience and sometimes the experience is a mistake.

Next time I will share some thoughts on intrusive behaviour of parents.

For more on this, tune into Island Parent Radio on Village 900, on Sunday morning (June 10th) at 9 am (PST) and hear our complete discussion.