Developing Healthy Self-Esteem in our Children

Do you know a person who must always "win" —be the best—whether its marks in school or points in a game? They seem to base their self-view or self-importance on being the winner.

How about a person who is a perfectionist? They do not feel or seem to derive satisfaction from anything they do.

Is there a person you know that is always needing to be seen as "being good"? They need to please or impress others. It is not about being themselves but the view of others.

Chances are these people are experiencing low self-esteem. Much of what they do is not from intrinsic motivation—doing it for themselves—but from external motivations—doing it for others or what they perceive others to want.

On Island Parent Radio today, we had a lengthy discussion on self-esteem - what it means, why it is important and what parents can do to help their children develop healthy self-esteem.

A great deal comes down to communication with our children. First we need to ensure, by way of our responses and talk, that we don't encourage perfectionism, being the best or being good.

Secondly, as parents, we need to employ what Allison Rees refers to as the 4 A's.

Acceptance, Affirmation, Affection and Attunement.

I'll elaborate on these in coming blogs.


For more on this, tune into Island Parent Radio on Village 900, tonight Tuesday May 22 at 7 pm (PST) or on Sunday morning (May 27) at 9 am (PST) and hear our complete discussion.