Re-inventing the wheel of parenting

It's funny how we all go through similar experiences as parents.

Was talking with another Dad today—both of us having older teens—and the conversation turned to a discussion of what our children are up to and thinking about for their futures. It's an exciting time with teens in later high school or college to see how their are starting to plan out their future.

When I look back over the years, I see how exciting times were when our children were starting to talk and walk. Their first days of school were the centre of our attention. Many playground or parking lot discussions were held about the things that were happening to our sons and daughters. Often you would hear a comment like “Oh, my son did that!” or “My daughter said the same thing.”

Sometimes comparisons were made but often times it was a reassurance that we're on the right track and that the behaviour is normal.

As young parents, there is sometimes doubt cast on our abilities to parent and that we weren't given the tools to parent. We do have the experience of having been children ourselves and if we look back to our childhood, sometimes we will see the good aspects of our parents style.

Today I reminded my friend that some of the difficulties they are experiencing with their teen is behaviours that we exhibited as teens. We may not like it but it's for some part of growing up. The lesson is to learn to listen to our children's needs and not be trying to solve their problems. To grow, we need to be challenged as people and as parents. Life is not always easy.

One of the things that I think is lacking with some parents is commonsense. It's great to seek advice and read up on things but the use of commonsense will often get you through the rough patch.