Inspiring Thoughts on Parenting

A number of years ago, I had the privilege of interviewing Dorothy Law Nolte on one of our first Island Parent Radio Shows. She wrote the poem “Children Learn What They Live” in 1954 when she was a mother of 12 and 9 year-olds, a writer of a weekly column on creative family living and teacher of family living for the local school board—truly a pioneer Parent Educator. In 1998, she took the poem and expanded her thoughts into a book with the poem's name and subtitled Parenting to Inspire Values.

Inspiring values is what parenting is really about. And this poem gives us many great thoughts about bringing up our children. You will certainly find it enlightening to read and reflect on the poem in its entirety but I would like to consider a few of its thoughts over the next few days.

One thing to note is that of the 19 lines the first 7 deal with negative behaviours while the last 12 look at positive terms.

“If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.” It certainly gives us pause to think that our children are emulating us and using us as their role models. What sort of role model do we want to be for our children—with what legacy do we wish to leave them. Certainly, I would not want to have my children be intolerant of others. One point to consider is that the criticism here is seen as negativ. I do believe that there is constructive criticism but haven't heard it expressed too often.

On the positive side,“If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.” We can't teach confidence. The lesson comes from our role-modelling and mentoring behaviours not from instruction. Through thoughtful and honest encouragment, the confidence and self-esteem will blossom.