Curfews and Kids

You know that communication is the important part of any relationship and understanding expectations.

I am constantly learning that as a male (see Boys will be Boys), we need to use more (not tons of) words to make sure the understanding of expectations is complete.

Take Saturday night, for instance, or better/worse yet, early Sunday morning (1:30 am) when I was phoning one of the offspring to find out where they were and what time they were coming home, as the curfew was 1 am, or so we parents thought. Our clue that they would be late should have been at 12:30 am, when said child came running in just to grab a swimsuit for a hot tub at friends. (Unfortunately when you are half or fully asleep, it does not dawn on you, the parent, to ask about when they are returning to the nest.)

Well at 1:30 am I was informed that the young person was in the hot tub but would be home “pretty soon”. To which the mother, my wife, stated, “What does pretty soon mean?” The 1:45 am call to said child, let me know that they were still in the hot tub but waiting for a friend to change and another to move a car blocking ours. At 2:15 am, the response was I'll be home in a minute—which they were.

The point was that the next day when asking why the curfew of 1 am was broken, I/we were told that they were not really aware of the curfew and why didn't I tell them to come home rather ask when I should expect them. I thought 3 phone calls between 1:30 and 2:15 am would be sufficient indication that I wanted them home but next time I'll be more explicit.

Communication—use your words—is the lesson learned.