4. Pain is part of life.

When we hear the word pain, we immediately conjure up notions of either physical or emotional pain. We try to protect our children from harm and pain. It’s certainly a natural instinct for us all and part of our job as a parent.

But sometimes we do need to step back and realize that we can learn from painful experiences. There are times that our children just as we do, need to hurt.

I am not advocating that we put our sons and daughters in peril but sometimes we try to mask the pain rather than face it.

We hear often about the death of pets and the first reaction is to replace the pet be it a fish, cat or dog. We do need to be more honest with children—they are much more resilient than we give them credit—and teach them how to handle the pain. With the death of a loved one or an animal they are grieving and need to go through the grieving process. If we try to mask the grief and circumvent the process we are not assisting them on a road to healthy understanding.

With physical pain, we need to comfort them, hug them, and acknowledge their pain.

Empathy not sympathy is often necessary when dealing with painful experiences.