1. Everything Changes and Ends

Everything changes and ends

Be it relationships or situations we all go through life experiencing changes and endings.

A three year old starts pre-school, she is no longer at home everyday with Mom or Dad. Soon enough preschool has ended for her and off to elementary school and full days away from home. The change from at home to preschool to elementary school brings about feelings of excitement with the new beginnings but sometimes anxiety and hesitation about the new beginnings.

As parents we look at our child in each of the new situations and try to help them get ready for and adjust to the ending of one phase and the beginnings of a new one.

Just before we were about to have our first child, I was talking to a parent of two children aged 14 and 9. She said that the stages of life are meant to ready us for changes. The two year old with his challenging behaviour lets us look forward to having a bit of a respite when they start to preschool. Similarly we find the pre-teen is again setting up some challenges which makes everyone ready for secondary school and a bit more independence. The teen at times readies us for the later years of moving away or at least being away from home.

As much as we would like, we cannot in many cases go back to “the good old days”. Our children are growing up. We must accept the changes and allow them the growth. And most importantly we must have a life outside of our children.

As my two are nearing the end of their teen years, my wife and I are enjoying the new adult relationship with them. Certainly as our son is involved in a serious relationship, we realize we are not seeing him as much. When we do the times are generally enjoyable for both parent and son.

When you reflect on your life as a person and as a parent, you can look at many of the changes that have occurred over the years and remember them fondly (or not so fondly) but cannot really hold onto them.

This leads us to look at the next given - Things do not always go according to plan.