Five Givens of Life (and Parenting)

As the publisher of Island Parent, I spend a great deal of time thinking and talking about parenting. Before joining Island Parent I was a teacher, school administrator and a summer camp director, which meant I spent a fair amount of time working with children and parents, thus I was directly or indirectly thinking about parenting. And for nearly 20 years, I have been a parent.

When I was asked to give the keynote to this year’s Effective Parenting Workshop, I was trying to figure out some important truths about parenting that I could share. I wanted to give a resounding YES! to Parenting as implied by the workshop’s title.

As I was thinking about my speech and its message, the book called “The Five Things We Cannot Change … and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them” by David Richo resurfaced. At this point, I’ll be honest and let you know that it was Allison Rees who directed me to this book in the first place when we were doing one of our radio shows (Island Parent Radio on Village 900 - www.village900.com). I was so impressed by its simple message that I ran out and bought a copy.

Within the Introduction, Richo refers to the famous prayer composed by Reinhold Niebuhr, a theologian:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.


Richo then proceeds to outline the 5 givens of life and even calls them disturbing. The unavoidable facts of life are as follows;

1. Everything changes and ends.
2. Things do not always go according to plan.
3. Life is not always fair.
4. Pain is part of life.
5. Everyone is not loyal and loving at all times.

If we accept these givens, we can let go and move on with our lives.

Over the next few days, with the five givens in mind, I would like to do some reflecting on parenting.