Parent Education

I have been asked to facilitate a series for Parents of Teens in the late fall. Well actually on finding the organization was looking for a facilitator, I thought why not me. I am publisher of a parenting magazine. I taught school for many years. And I worked with teens in summer camps. I am also just at the end of my "career" as a parent of teens. What better qualifications?

In thinking about this upcoming session, I am gravitating to articles and books on teens. I am also thinking about what "pearls of wisdom" I can pass along.

Well I guess the first thing is that as much experience as I've had, there are certainly many situations that I have not come across personally. As parents, we often are faced with situations that are new or at least a little different than ones we've encountered before or heard about. We're also not always prepared for the unexpected when it hits us from out of nowhere. How do we cope? How will I answer the questions or respond to the situations that participants may bring up?

Parent Education isn't about easy answers. Quick solutions do not usually work. There is really no tried or true formula that we can conjure up—as much as we'd like to.

Often the answers lie within us. From our past experiences, conversations with other parents, being open to new or even old ideas, all help us deal with the dilemmas facing parents.We take the ideas from the various sources—books, interviews, magazines, shows,etc.—and use those that most suit our values and beliefs.

Another thought that I've had is that we as parents are the models—the mentors—to our children. We need to think more about our actions than our words. What we do, how we walk tghe talk is so important an influence on our children's life. An example of this is how parents continually jump in to save the child and I don't mean in a life and death situation but in some day to day situations. What message does that send to the child? One is that the child may soon feel incompetent and totally reliant on the parent. When a parent nags about something but does not follow through on consequences or actually ends up doing the chore. What message are we sending the child?

At the end of the LIFE Seminar courses that Allison Rees puts on many parents admit that the children's behaviours have changed because the parents behaviour has changed.

Parent Education is an ongoing process. When we get in "ruts" or habits, we really have to look at our behaviours, not our children's behaviours, to see what's really going on.