Couple Time
Friends returned from a trip to Hawaii with the 1st annual Hawaii Parent Guide. They had thought of me and Island Parent when they saw it (as their own children well into their adult years).
I'm always interested in looking at other parenting magazines both for content and design. Whatever the design, there does seem to be some consistent parenting themes that are not specific to a certain country or region.
"Remember to Have Couple Time" caught my eye. It was a short piece with some very good points that we have heard before but are worth repeating and taking to heart. I've taken liberty to abbreviate the points.
Set up a date: regular, weekly without interruptions
Use "I" messages: state your feelings without blame, example say "I feel..." not "You make me feel..."
Be direct and specific: this is where I sometimes am not clear in my relationships—I often think people are thinking what I'm thinking.
Avoid some direct questions: questions can sound accusing, "Why didn't you call me..." can be easily replaced by an "I" statement such as "I was worried when you didn't call..."
Listen: take time to really listen, don't interrupt or jump to conclusions.
Compliment each other: take time to say something positive especially at the end of your couple time.
Too often, as I've said before, we don't take enough care of ourselves. Modelling behaviours that show positive relationships and healthy boundaries, give our children important life lessons. Take time for yourself and your relationship.
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